Best Man's Speech
by 1potterhead07
Summary: Sirius gives his best man's speech and makes a few puns in them, but by the end Remus releavs some new and suprising information about the newly wedded couple. A oneshot! (Jily)(Wolfstar)


**_The idea in bold belongs entirely to queer-remus and glorious-stardust from Reddit...I think Reddit..._****_It was a screenshot from Insta but I decided to make it a story. All credit goes to you two! The last bit is from BBC's Sherlock, episode Sign of Three in season three._**

~

There was a clang of a fork against a glass wine cup and a man with nicely combed curly hair stood up in his seat, next to a man with wild dark brown hair and a woman with long bright red hair.

"Deerly beloved, family, and friends. It behooves me to deliver this speech to two of the purest harts I know. Two individuals so fawned of each other that it completely bucks the motion of superficial love. Doe they will surely go through many trials and tribulations – many high and low points; stag-nant periods where their love seems fallow - I know as someone who knows them best, I know that they will not allow themselves to fall into a rut." He paused, only momentarily, but just enough to look at James, who was silently dying of embarrassment and amusement, and Lily, who was also trying to hold in her laughter. "When it's all over, and people are sitting around telling tails of these two, my brother and sister-in-law, they will be telling the stories of two of the most amazing people ever herd. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." The room clapped for him as he sat back down next to James.

"How did you like my speech, Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"It was fantastic! Did you have to keep dogging around and make so many deer jokes though?"

"Is it too late to cancel my subscription to you two's issues?" Lily scolded, but she had a warm smile on her face.

"Why of course! Mr. And Mrs. Prongs. And no cancelation, dearest. There's two of you now, that's that. Naturally, I had to double them to make up for that factor." Sirius said with the shake of his head.

"After all this time how have you not learned neither of them can help themselves? I'm just surprised no one has figured out after our nicknames and all the jokes and outed us yet." Remus interjected.

"Oh, quiet yourself, Moony. Today's supposed to be sad."

"No, it's not! I married Lily!" James said, with a surprised look on his face.

"You're leaving us! We never thought she'd ever say yes! Now I'm all alone!" Sirius cried, pretending to wipe a fake tear from his eye. "Oh, you don't count." He added and waved Remus off when he was given an affronted, weary look.

"Don't worry Padfoot. You'll still have your husband as much as I will have mine." Said Lily.

"Do you want to go dance?" James asked, taking her hand and glancing at the floor where several people had already started dancing to the music.

"Sure," Lily said, returning his enthusiastic smile.

"Sure."

"My wife, Padfoot." James let out a weary sigh.

"Fine. I'll go dance with Remus!"

"I feel so loved right now. Come, Sirius, let the three enjoy their evening."

"Three?" James asked, clearly confused.

"Two. Let the two, enjoy their evening. I meant two." Remus corrected himself, but he replied too quickly. They were all looking at him suspiciously.

"You said three. You're careful when you speak." Sirius pried.

"Sorry, that was one more thing I had been meaning to tell you." He let out a conceded sigh.

"Tell who? What?" The confusion on James's face continued to grow.

"What are you saying?" Lily asked, though her eyes told him that she knew exactly what he was saying.

"What's happening?" Sirius asked, just as confused as James. If Peter was here, he would have been even worse than those two put together. Sadly, though, he was stuck on an unavoidable last-minute trip.

"Increased appetite. Change of taste perception. You were sick this morning, you assumed it was nerves. You even got angry with me for mentioning it. All the signs are there." Remus spoke carefully and glanced at her stomach, and only Lily caught it.

"Signs? What?" James repeated.

"The signs of three. Lily, I think you should take a pregnancy test." James let out a strange noise and Sirius's jaw dropped in amazement. "The statistics for the first trimester- "

"Shut up. Sorry. How did he notice before me? I'm your bloody husband!"

"Stop panicking," Remus said plainly.

"I'm not panicking," James said, taking deeper breaths and staring at his wife's stomach, to her eyes, and back,

"Both of you stop. I'm pregnant, I'm panicking."

"Stop. Don't panic. There is no reason to panic."

"Oh, and you would know?" Sirius snapped, closing his mouth and looking at him.

"Yes, I would."

"What, do you have a secret kid somewhere?" Sirius asked, mock seriously.

"No, I just mean you are hardly going to need me around now that you got a real kid on the way. Look at how you fixed me. You're going to be great parents." All three of them smiled, but there was still worry in the newly wedded couple's eyes. "Now go and start dancing, people are going to get suspicious."

"People are always suspicious when all of us are together. Especially Minnie over there." Sirius added. Almost on cue, Minerva McGonagall looked in there direction and excused herself from the conversation she was having, then began to walk over to them.

"Congratulations, Mr. And Mrs. Potter. I hope you are very happy together and have many years ahead of you."

"Thank you, Minnie!" James exclaimed.

"Does this mean I'm responsible for him now?" Lily groaned.

"You are as responsible as Remus is for Sirius, I am afraid."

"Well that's not entirely fair, he's the smart one behind it all. Just better at not getting caught."

"I believe you have explained my point."

"Let's go dance," Remus whispered to Sirius as he tugged on his sleeve and pulled him away.

"I couldn't help but notice that you three were staring so surprised at Mrs. Potter. And Mr. Potter looked faint. Mr. Lupin... well he had his factual look to him. The common part though was the frequent glances to your abdomen. Congratulations, Lily."

"Thank you, Minerva." And with that, she disappeared out into the crowd.


End file.
